Pack my things and leave.  And leave my baby too.  It wont be a big deal for me. It's in my blood. 

I'm horrible.  I'm evil.  

Tell me "I will not treat you badly, I will absolutely not treat you badly... If I do, I will pack my bags and leave."  Tell me. TELL ME.  "I will not treat you badly.  If I do, I will pack my bags and leave."  Say it.  Say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm interrogating you. 

It's over.  I've completely checked out of this marriage. 

I want you out of my family, I want you out of my house, my condo,my cars, my client's job.  I want you out. 

Today I want you to go get a marriage contract (a pre-nup).  Prove to me you're serious about making this work and get it done today. Actually, take all my money, take my house, take everything.  I dont even care anymore, I just want you out of my life. 

And I'm not going to any of your family things.  I dont need to see them.  I'm not going to any pictures, any communions.  Why should I have to?  I want you to call your Dad and tell him, "I'm a bad wife, and I've been treating my husband badly.  I've been acting just like your ex-wife and until I can be a better wife, my husband doesn't want to pose for a family photo."

You think you can talk to me the way you do, always victimizing yourself, turning the tables.  What makes me think you're not going to talk that way to our baby? What makes me think you're not going to treat her that way? 

Do you actually think you're a good mom? Do you actually think you're a good wife?  You're horrible.  You're mean.  

---------------------------

He called back 30 minutes later to tell me he loves me.  He loves me so so much. SO SO SO much. 

And that's why it hurts so much. 

He suggested we see a counsellor.  I said it's probably a good idea.  Then, he said actually he doesn't want to go because last time we went the counsellor basically told him it was all his fault.  I should just go alone, it's me who needs the help anyway.