I've written an email to myself filled with horrible awful things he said to me on the phone this morning.  


I wrote them because I want to send it to someone. It's like I need someone to validate that they are not nice.  That no matter what i could possibly have said or done to him deserved them.  


But I can't send them to anyone because I'm not going to do anything about it, and then someone will know.  And someone might tell me to do something about it.  


And I'm too afraid to do anything about it.